Just finished watching the movie, Radio, while running on the treadmill this week. It captures the personal renaissance I have been through the past few months. In short, Coach Jones (who has his own issues) begins to notice a young man that is ignored and mistreated by the community. Over time, Coach Jones begins to pour value into a human being that others have neglected. The team does not perform as well that season so one of the football dads decides to try to run off either Radio or the coach. {SPOILER ALERT} In a surprising turn of events, Coach Jones resigns his football coaching role and asks to stay on as a teacher. As much as he loved the game of football, he discovered that its much less important than the fulfillment he found in providing dignity and value to another person. Coach Jones discovered that life is bigger than winning football games!
That's what led us to create a new team experience with 3:23. The past couple of years, I've allowed my focus to digress from investing in kids to worrying more about wins and losses, wrestling with personal pride, and competing with myself and others on the athletic field. Ironically, a few weeks after the season, no one remembers who won or lost or really cares for that matter. After a game, kids care more about where the team is eating and who is spending the night than what happened in the game. Great perspective. So here is where I'm at.
Life Has to be Bigger than Baseball
I grew up with a dad who only knew how to relate to me based on how I was performing in baseball. I have great memories, but I also remember the day I informed him I was coming home from the baseball scholarship due to injury. I can easily default to excellence and performance having played for the winningest high school baseball coach in the country at that time. Yet, I refuse to let my relationship with my son be defined by how well he performs on the field. We talk about this regularly and work hard to overcome that temptation. My success as a coach has to be defined more on the kids' enjoyment of the game and skill development, not my win/loss record as a coach. The relationships and people we encounter on these teams has to be more valuable than what their kids can contribute. Championships last for a moment. Eternity lasts forever!
I once heard a little league coach say that coaches need to be teaching baseball and that character development is what Boy Scouts and churches are for. It's comments like these that motivate me to push myself and others to get a bigger vision for the sports we coach.
It's Not About My Kid Only
Daddy ball is my greatest fear as a coach. It's real. It's nasty. It's everywhere. At the end of the day, it has to be about investing into all the kids, helping them love the game and become great men and women. Some will excel athletically more than others. A few will play at the high school level. Fewer will play in college. One or two might get drafted. At some point, many of these kids will likely be coaching their own kids; that's when we will know what kind of influence we truly had. Will they throw fits at the umpires? Will they cheat on the rules to their own advantage? Will they neglect the kids that don't have as much to offer? Will they play favorites with their own kids? Will every kid be given the chance to improve and earn a spot? Will they encourage best effort? Will they celebrate hard work? Will they laugh and play with the kids? Will their players want to play again next year? Will their players feel loved regardless of performance or loss? Will a kid have value for who he/she is rather what they can do? Will a kid love Jesus more because of the way I modeled Christ? These are the kinds of questions that keep me up at night as a coach.
Back to Radio
This movie inspires and encourages me that I'm on the right track. As we start this new adventure with 3:23 Ministries, I too plan to step back from some of the hands-on baseball aspects and focus more on the mentor role with these kids. Our partnerships with other parents and professional coaches in the community will elevate the skill development beyond what I could provide. It feels good to address the behavioral issues in my own life. It feels good to partner with great families and coaches in the community. It's great to know that the activities we are involved in serve a higher purpose and have kingdom impact! Thanks Coach Jones for the tangible reminder this week of what really matters!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Learning Points from "Decision Points" by George W. Bush
A few quotes and moments that helped me grow and learn in this book.
On Family Values
Their view (Bush’s parents) of parenting was to offer love and encourage me to chart my own path...they did set boundaries for behavior.
When you know you have unconditional love, there is no point in rebellion and no need to fear failure.
Our household was full of laughter.
On Matters of Faith
Push yourself to realize your God-given talents.
...struggle and doubts are a natural part of faith. If you haven't doubted, you probably haven't thought very hard about what you believe.
I drew strength from family, friends, and faith.
Every life has dignity and value because every person bears the mark of Almighty God.
On Leadership
...allowing your opponent to define you is one of the biggest mistakes you can make...
I discovered that I could accept defeat and move on.
Voters don't want a leader who flails in anger and coarsens the tone of the debate.
Just be yourself.
I learned the importance of properly structuring and staffing an organization. The people who surround you determine the quality of advice you receive and the way your goals are implemented.
I started each personnel decision by defining the job description and the criteria for the ideal candidate...I used my time to gauge character and personality. I was looking for integrity, competence, selflessness, and an ability to handle pressure.
An important part of my job was to create a culture that encouraged teamwork and fostered loyalty - not to me, but to the country and our ideals.
Sometimes the best personnel moves are the ones you don't make.
Not disclosing the DUI on my terms may have been the single costliest political mistake I ever made.
Timeliness is important to make sure an organization does not get sloppy. (on time to meetings etc.)
The first step of any successful crisis response is to project calm.
Getting to know a fellow world leader's personality, character, and concerns made it easier to find common ground and deal with contentious issues...
"If you would win a man to your cause first convince him that you are his friend." (Abraham Lincoln)
You cannot solve a problem until you first diagnose it.
Government can hand out money but it cannot put hope in a person's heart or sense of purpose in a person's life.
"Don't get stuck on stupid." (General Russ Honore)
We would trust developing countries to design their own strategies for using American taxpayer dollars. In return, they would measure their performance and be held accountable.
Success would be measured by results produced, not money spent.
A question I like to ask world leaders: “What keeps you up at night?
Self-pity is a pathetic quality in a leader. It sends such demoralizing signals to the team and the country.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
A Synopsis of the Books I Read on Sabbatical & Why I Chose Them
I serve a great church that practices the concept of a sabbatical for its pastors. Our sabbatical is unique in that its primary purpose is rest. Rest is more accessible when we withdraw from the normal practices, patterns, and routines of work and everyday ministry. Without boring you with how we did this in other areas, I will limit this blog to a short summary of the books I chose to read, why I chose them, and highlights of what I gained from each.
First, why read 1400 pages (yes I counted) in 5 weeks and call that rest? To some it sounds like a nightmare, but reading books for personal growth was a key way for me to amp down and step out of the norm. I read lots of books each year, but they are mostly work related. This list was personal.
1. King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs from His Father (Steve Farrar)
"If you have time to read this book, and have not taken the time to read your Bible, then you do not have time to read this book."
First, why read 1400 pages (yes I counted) in 5 weeks and call that rest? To some it sounds like a nightmare, but reading books for personal growth was a key way for me to amp down and step out of the norm. I read lots of books each year, but they are mostly work related. This list was personal.
1. King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs from His Father (Steve Farrar)
- Why? I am committed to growing in my effort to be a better dad
- A great book on the importance of mentoring our sons and practical ideas on how to do it
- Includes a controversial chapter on the feminization of boys and a challenge to return to masculinity (I could argue this on both sides - would be a fun discussion when I feel like fighting)
- The entire book is worth the read for chapter 10 alone - "How to Crush Your Son So He Will Never Recover"
- Includes a study guide and would make a great personal study or men's group topic
- Why? I am committed to growing in my effort to be a better dad
- This book revolves around rites of passage and speaking blessing into our daughters; I love the idea of rites of passage (and practice it in our family) but that's about all I liked about this book
- There are lots of good ideas on how to plan a special night to honor our daughters
- Speaking life and blessing into our daughters is a great message; I hope we see the need to do this daily, not once in a formal ceremony
- The book mostly promotes another program to purchase from the authors (which may be great)
- Some people may read this book and find it life changing, but I found it disappointing and of very little value personally
- Why? This book is off the page from anything I read (and it might have a secret service story or two)
- This autobiography chronicles the critical decisions that shaped Bush's presidency and personal life
- I like short books and short chapters; this was like eating a 72 ounce steak but worth the effort
- As a Midlandler, after reading this book, I felt like I knew Bush personally
- I loved seeing Bush's faith journey and how it played out in his life
- I noted several leadership principles that I will capture in a separate blog
- I saved this book for week 4 of the sabbatical on purpose; this is the book I wanted to contemplate on and make some life adjustments as a result of reading the book
- Halftime is written for people approaching midlife; felt timely since I celebrated the big 40 last month
- This book is a must read for men 35-50 years old
- While there was not a lot of new information for me (pastoral ministry deals with this kind of content daily), I took the book personally and wrote about 22 observations/life tweaks for me. Bonnie and I discussed each one of these takeaways and made some mutual agreements on a few tweaks for this next season of life and ministry
- I would like to take some men through this book in coming months; anyone could pick this up and gain value
- The book in a nutshell - it's less about me being successful and more about giving my life away and building the kingdom of God (very consistent with Pastor Daniel's great message on July 10)
- Okay, I admit it, this was an extra book I threw in the bag in case I had time. Bonnie argued that it was work related, but I justified the need to keep pulse of the cultural trends for our family
- I wish I would have waited to read this until I was back at work (wives are always right)
- Interesting and crammed with a fire hydrant of statistics (more than normal for a Barna book), but not for everybody
- One notable principle in this book is that Barna realizes after all these years of research and writing that the best way to change our culture is to impact one life at a time in our circles of influence
"If you have time to read this book, and have not taken the time to read your Bible, then you do not have time to read this book."
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